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I've been kicked to it by 6 (!) of my journal friends:
Dear Satan Claus – Devourer of Children’s Souls,
This year, I have been a very manipulative little girl. I have sometimes lied, and I have always helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their homework. And I always say thank you, which makes me polite, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!
Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring the onset of menopause. For my daddy, please bring a new razor. For my little brother, please bring fingernail polish. For my doggy, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my case worker, please bring some fruit cake.
Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spider Man action figures, and front row tickets to Mary-Kate and Ashley – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!
Anyway, I hope you like the cognac I left out for you.
Yours,
Kate
PS: Please say Merry Christmas to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.
PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Jack? He has been a really perverted coprophile all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put ebola in their stocking. Thanks!
from:http://www.chickenhead.com/stuff/santa/index.asp
Dear Satan Claus – Devourer of Children’s Souls,
This year, I have been a very manipulative little girl. I have sometimes lied, and I have always helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their homework. And I always say thank you, which makes me polite, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!
Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring the onset of menopause. For my daddy, please bring a new razor. For my little brother, please bring fingernail polish. For my doggy, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my case worker, please bring some fruit cake.
Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spider Man action figures, and front row tickets to Mary-Kate and Ashley – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!
Anyway, I hope you like the cognac I left out for you.
Yours,
Kate
PS: Please say Merry Christmas to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.
PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Jack? He has been a really perverted coprophile all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put ebola in their stocking. Thanks!
from:http://www.chickenhead.com/stuff/santa/index.asp
