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So I found this old translation, I knew I had it somewhere but I had forgotten to put it on my new harddrive.
I wrote that fic back in 2002, worked it over 2005. Damn, that's a long time. It is an old translation, I have to work it over as soon as I find the time, but probably I will translate The Bookkeeper's Devil first, because I like it better.
This fic belongs to the fandom of Seimaden, probably many english speakers won't know it because I havn't seen it published overseas, anywhere. Therefore I only have the german source and some names and speak patterns may be different, although I prefer the original writing for Teteiyusu instead of Titius. The reason for this is, that in the german version the name is shortened to "Titi" and that's slang for tits. Those without wings.
So, the english in there may contain several punctuation mistakes because I wasn't good at this that time. I hope it is a good read in all other belongs.
I'm always happy for concrit & lingucrit!
Title: Voice of Two Hearts
Author: Saciel
E-Mail: angel_saciel(at)yahoo.de
Fanfiction: Seimaden
Rating: T+
Warnings: AU, lemon, hint for psychological problems, mentions rape (well, duh.)
Comment: After the end of Seimaden, one of the many „What will happen if Zadei awakes?“ stories
Teteiyusu has blue or green eyes on different pictures, I went with the blue.
Pairing: Tetei x Zadei
Disclaimer: Tetei and Zadei belong to You Higouri, I don’t get money for writing this it is just for fun. The beginning and the ice water was inspired by an unfinished fic of Ricci.
--
I remember a light.
Teteiyusu needed to live, even if I never saw him again.
I feel Laures presence just for a short time… then the energy flows.
He will survive.
And I… what will happen to me?
Where do demons go if they die?
I come from hell…
Heaven? Ridiculous.
It follows… nothing.
I died a long time ago.
--
Where am I?
I feel something soft… a blanket? How do I lie on a blanket?
Argh! This headache… I can’t be dead. If I was dead, there would be no pain… or would there?
Who knows?
I want to get up… but I can’t.
My legs and arms are heavy, I can’t open my eyes. The darkness is everywhere around me.
Loneliness.
For how long did I lay here?
I don’t know… I know nothing for real. Was my life real or a dream?
But… what is this?
There is just darkness but… something… is there, something more.
I feel warmth, for almost an eternity I feel something!
How much time has gone by?
There… there was something. A… a bird? Was this the twitter of a bird?
There it is again.. a tune, another one, it must be a word… which one… I don’t know it but.. it has to be a kind of song.
Someone sings! But who?
Who owns this lovely voice which gives me the feeling… the feeling of… having my heart ripped out?
It is… enticing…
My heart burns.
--
300 years after the evens of Seimaden:
Teteiyusu stood at the balustrade of a wide terrace. The wind blew through his long, silky white hair.
His eyes had that shadow of loneliness when he layed them upon the land. There were smooth, green hills which became mountains in a distance. A small forest surrounded the valley, quite through it lay a cherry ally.
For a second, most of it was darkened by the shadow of a dragon. It was the Dragon Valley.
A valley like paradise, a human would say. But a demon?
The truth was, it was a valley of exile, banishment, unspeakably empty and lonely.
Why did he ever went here?
Once, Zadei tried to kill Laures to get HIM, yes HIM, the energy he needed to survive.
But he couldn’t let him do that, so he had to oppose Zadei. But Zadei did something that he didn’t understand – he gave all his energy to him, only through that he lived.
That mysterious, white light gave him a new life and a new pair of wings.
He remembered what Zadei had said in that night when he thought he was sleeping ~I love you~ but he still didn’t understand and neither could he understand himself.
Lost in thoughts, Teteiyusu looked at his marble-like hands which fingernails looked a bit golden since then.
They said, Zadei would sleep for 100 years, so he decided to go with him into this peaceful valley which was banishment.
He could never go back, and in the beginning he also didn’t want to.
He felt responsible for Zadei, but that feeling went away…
He waited for 200 years, but Zadei didn’t awake.
He tried everything to wake him up, but nothing helped.
He read to him aloud, he tried many medicines.
He laid him into icy water for seven hours until he almost freezed, but Zadei didn’t show any reaction.
300 years went by and in Teteiyusu grew a bitter desperation.
He wanted to go back! He couldn’t bear this loneliness anymore!
When he looked at him… Zadei lay there on the slim, soft bed with the many pillows and a blanket of silk. He was motionless, like dead.
He wasn’t that, that told Teteiyusu himself, he only slept. He didn’t expect him to wake up anymore.
He had waited so long for him, so long…
Today was the day he wanted to try something new to wake him up, it wasn’t like he had anything else to do. But he had no idea left what could function.
The winged demon sat in that sterile, white room, near the window from where he could look at Zadei. Memories from old times came back, long, long before he met Laures.
A song of his old home, which didn’t exist anymore for a long time now. Demons, who mistook his tribe for angels killed them all.
A song his grandfather, who was so long gone now, sang to him.
He began to sing, only hesitantly at first, he didn’t know the text anymore… it was a very ancient language.
~ Me, a hole he, ma dia ma, a hola he. Ta, eduama, violarna, vitali se. Te, go hama he, a tia ma, ma mia he. Go, violarna, vitanasa, a hole he.~
He sat down on the chair near the bed of the black haired demon and looked if there was any difference. There was none. No difference, no motion, nothing.
“I didn’t expect anything else…” he said quietly to himself. The demon went back to the window and sang on, the same text, the same melody, always repeating like a mantra.
His voice was divine, his appearance was that of an angel.
Some Hitrou, bird-like creatures, sat down at the sill and twittered while he paused or listened.
Teteiyusu took a liking to that, although the singing didn’t bring any success, but it let him forget his loneliness just for a moment.
--
He is… wonderful.
It is… I guess… the first time that I –wanted- to cry.
But it is too late now.
I couldn’t do it.
As a demon general, I wouldn’t even be allowed to do it. Never.
But.. it is wonderful.
I want to see to whom this voice belongs to, just for a single last time, this wonderful voice…
I want to… and I CAN!
--
Teteiyusu closed his eyes, he knew Zadei would never awake again. He gave up a long time ago.
His life was over, he couldn’t go away from here, he felt the tears in his eyes and didn’t grant himself the indignity to loose them.
It was enough for today, probably he should eat something. Standing up and heading for the door, he turned around for a last time… and blue eyes looked into amber ones.
--
That couldn’t be true… it couldn’t be true. These blue eyes, the white hair, the cold but now slightly surprised face… Tetei!
Zadei he let his claw dart out at Teteiyusus wrists: “Tetei!”
“Z-zadei-sama?” The pale demon couldn’t say anymore, it happened too suddenly.
Zadei had accroached him into an embrace he couldn’t flee from. He laid his claw at Teteiyusu’s neck and pressed his lips on his own.
Silence.
For a moment the two demons just lay in each others arms and enjoyed the kiss before both gained a sudden consciousness of what they were doing and made a distance between them.
Zadei sat half-upright at his bed and looked at Teteiyusu with eyes wide open, but Teteiyusu himself had closed his eyes for a moment when he suddenly realized his body met the floor.
As fast as he could he got up and left the room, while Zadei felt a certain dizziness from his fast movements – he didn’t have another choice and fell back into the pillows, fighting with consciousness.
--
Can it be true? – No, never, it has to be a dream.
But… it felt so real and for a moment I was so close to him… but it can’t be! Tetei would never, never let something like that happen. Wasn’t it him who called me a pervert then?
Zadei tried to fight the sleepiness, but it was a fight he lost. The darkness took him into her thickly veiled arms.
--
Teteiyusu ran the floor down to a room with a burning fireplace. He sat down in front of it and hugged himself with his wings.
How could that happen?
Finally, finally did Zadei awake, after 300 years and now… he didn’t know if it was good or bad. He had desired it for such a long time, but why did he, right after awaking, have to do something like this? How could he do this to him?
Zadei kissed him and he didn’t even defend himself against that, to the opposite, he somehow enjoyed it, just for a short moment.
But there were this fear, the fear after everything Zadei had done to him. He raped him, he ripped his wings out, only thanks to him he died. But Zadei ‘made go away’, or it appeared that he wanted that.
Enough of this, he awaked and he had waited 300 years for this.
Surely he wasn’t as strong now as before, which meant he wouldn’t become more dangerous than he would let him be and on the other hand, he had to care for him.
Teteiyusu went to the kitchen on fast feet, because he had no help here, he had to cook himself. It was hard at the beginning, but although he would never admit it to anyone, he liked cooking now. Especially now, for two.
--
Slowly the fog of darkness went away, the sensations in Zadeis arms, legs, claws and feet came slowly back. He smelled something. When he opened his eyes, he saw Teteiyusu: His wonderful angel… but Tetei watched him with a mixture of fear and desperation and something more… hate.
“Tetei…,” he began weakly, “What are you doing here? Why aren’t I dead?” He smiled slightly so his fangs showed “You look beautiful to me.”
Teteiyusu bit his lower lip, what did that bastard think? This was no tea-party.
“I neither have the strength nor the will to talk to YOU, Zadei-sama.” Again, Teteiyusus face had this cold, calculating masked which Zadei knew all too well. “Eat this,” Teteiyusu said before he quickly left the room.
Zadei tried to get after him, but he couldn’t and Tetei knew that, he was too weak. Zadei looked at the bowl on the small glass table beneath his bed, it seemed to contain a kind of soup. Was this actually eatable? He wasn’t too sure. He wasn’t too sure what was going on and what game was being played on him and why of all people Teteiyusu was here.
Teteiysusu HATED him, he just showed him, and he had enough reasons to hate him so why was it Teteiyusu who sat there when he woke up?
The palace seemed abandoned, at least he didn’t hear more than Teteiyusu’s steps and he didn’t hear any other voices.
Before… before was the kiss. He couldn’t get it out of his head. Every time he kissed him, Teteiyusu defended himself like a fury, but this time he didn’t. What happened?
He looked back at the soup again, a bit hungry he did feel, indeed. But what if the soup was cursed? Nonsense, why should Tetei watch him sleep if he wanted to kill him?
After hesitating, he tried the soup and found out it tasted just fine.
The silence around here… it was strange. If they didn’t led someone come here because they were afraid to waste a servant on him? It just would fit Laures regime.
He tried to get up again. but of course that didn’t work. His gaze went to the door Tetei escaped through. >Tetei… why aren’t you mine?<
An emotion he didn’t know. An emotion called loneliness, something he never was aware of. He wished he never was because it was horrible. Teteiyusu, his angel, was the only thing he could think of, but he was the only being of pure hate toward him.
--
Never had he felt that bad, he wasn’t master of his own thoughts. Everywhere was Zadei, Zadei, Zadei, even more Zadei. Why couldn’t he get him out of his head? 300 years he waited for what? Was it the same fate he would begin anew?
It was obvious: Zadei would try to overthrow Laures again as soon as he could his power back, but if that would be so easy was another question…
While Zadei was asleep, Laures had more than enough time to become more and more powerful, did Zadei even know how long he slept?
And again his thought were only with him… but at whom he should think? Here, there were no other beings than the fairy creatures who lived in the Dragon Valley for millennia.
How Zadei looked at him… these golden eyes had burned themselves deep into Teteiyusu’s self. He knew Zadei’s ‘feelings’ for him didn’t change, but what about him?
He tried to convince himself that there was nothing for the demon general than hate.
Deep, cold hate.
But he couldn’t.
Although Zadei abused him, which he could never forgive him, a little voice in his subconsciousness whispered: There is more.
He shook his head, did his brain play a joke at him? Was he lonely for so long that he would throw himself at the only conspecific that was left, even if that was Zadei?
Yes, that had to be the answer. Teteiyusu nodded, absent-minded curled up in front of the fireplace. This had to be the solution, it was a nice solution, he liked it and accepted it and would work on the problem from now on.
But deep in his heart screamed a voice: That isn’t it! It isn’t like that!
--
The next morning, Teteiyusu had gotten a hold of himself, he felt ready to face Zadei again. He prepared something to eat for him.
Going down the hall, he felt a bit dizzy, lend down against a wall and realized the magical clay-orbs which were securely stored in one of the glass-shelves. They were intended to grow servants from them to facilitate the housework. No real people but no real golems, servants with replicated personalities of good but dead idols.
Although he never used them, maybe he wanted that certain loneliness. The years going by had helped him to get over Laures. He looked at the orbs and thought about using the servants. Now with Zadei conscious, he maybe could use some help. Then he shook his head – no, NOW he didn’t use them anymore. He straightened himself and went on.
When he reached Zadei’s door, he knocked shortly and went in: “Listen, Zadei-sama, you have slept for a long time, but now there are some rules to fol…,” his words stuck in his throat – the room was empty!
Pillows, blanket, everything lay around in a disordered manner but no sign of the general. >Oh no, where could he be? He won’t be out there to…,< he panicked. What could lead the weakened Zadei to stand up in his state? Except… he wasn’t as weak as he acted. Teteiyusu had a dark thought: >I have to find him before he finds me…< he put the bowl down and left the room, ran down the terrace and watchful let his gaze wipe over the white marble bottom.
>Nothing… nothing… nothing… also not… wait, what’s that?< He made out a shadow near the stairs down to the cherry ally, it was hand no… a claw, Zadei!
He hurried down just to find an exhausted Zadei lie below the stairs, half the way to Teteiyusus sleeping chamber, did he look out for him?
--
He had to do something, he didn’t have choice, it was important… what was it again? The headache tormented his skull like an axe trying to split him. Stars danced in front of his eyes and the world become more and more dark. Before he could do anything, he found himself on cold, hard marble and sharp steps pressed against his waist. He tried to claw into the ground, but the dizziness didn’t go away.
Was there somebody? >Tetei? TETEI!< he tried to call for him, his angel, he was in danger but he could only crawk. It was disgracing but he could only crawl towards him.
“WHAT are you DOING here?!” He heard the furious voice of his caretaker, “You can’t just wander around here! You are weak! Do you know how much you frightened me?”
>Frightened?< he thought >I frightened him? Uhh…< there it was again, the headache. >I have to tell him, he has to know!< He tried to grab Tetei, but he could hardly lift his arm.
--
Teteiyusu was shocked by himself, did he really say that? But it was the truth… just how may that sound for someone like Zadei? If he even heard him… he looked at the picture of misery in front of his feet that tried desperately to say words while snapping for air. He was wrong, it was no trap, Zadei was as weak as never before, but what did he do out here?
He had to take him back into his room, it was too cold around here. He had no other way left than using the clay-orbs “I’m just back, don’t move!” He said and went away.
--
The demon general only saw white silk flowing away and gave up the try to speak, sank down on the marble. >I … have to warn him! I have to get all my strength… nothing… may happen to him…<
Shortly after that, the feather-winged demon reappeared with the company of a few servants which took Zadei on an instant- stretcher, but Zadei moved that hastingly they had to stop. Teteiyusu came amazingly near “Please, be reasonable for once!”
Finally, he could grab his wrist: “Tetei… you have to look out for…,” Then, the blackness came back, “Look out for… you… danger… Ankra-“ He lost consciousness and the servants brought him back to his bed.
Teteiyusu was left standing there, what did the demon try to say? >Ankra? No, it was part of a longer word… but which? I don’t know one with such a beginning…,< he thought about it for a while but then went back into the palace.
--
It took Zadei four days until he opened his eyes again. He regained a portion of his strength and felt altogether a lot better.
Teteiyusu couldn’t say that from himself, he felt worse for the past days. He often felt sudden dizziness, sickness, couldn’t bear certain smells. One of the servants joked that he could be pregnant, for that indignity he banished him to the cellar for time to come. Although his low standard health status, he didn’t miss any visits to Zadei, when he heard that he had woken up, he went there soon with a bowl of fruits.
Zadei sat casually at the bed and looked to the door. His paleness was gone and he appeared well. When Teteiyusu entered, his hands started to shake and shocked Zadei. Dark shadows were beneath the eyes of the white demon and he seemed even more pale than usual, was it too late?
“Tetei!” He called out.
The called one, obviously ignoring his disease, gave him a disapproving look: “So?”
“You don’t look well.”
His eyes grew small “I’m fine, take rather care of yourself, so you don’t only lay around here!”
Zadei was amused by the tune in Teteiyusu’s voice that was almost an imperative, but then again he worried about him, that wasn’t hard to admit.
>What does he think?< Teteiyusu took the bowl to the small table so Zadei could get it, but not to near to that guy… all suddenly, his right leg grew numb and he fell.
The bowl broke at the bottom, where he would have found himself, too, if it were not for two strong arms which sat him on a chair, Zadei.
Teteiyusu felt a slint of electricity where the other touched him: “Let go! At once! What is this…?!” But Zadei didn’t let go: “Please, now YOU be reasonable, Tetei! You were poisoned!”
The white winged stood still, hesitated and looked sharply at him: “WHO would poison me? That’s ridiculous! I’m FINE and now let.go.”
“No!” Zadei’s grip was as steady as always, with his free hand he grabbed a violet fruit from the floor and broke it, looked up at his fellow “Kuave, it’s juice detects poison,” Just one of the tricks he learned during his military times long ago. He lifted the sleeve of the white silk clothing and stroke with half of the fruit above the skin.
Teteiyusu’s breath went faster, who would poison him? What did Zadei want? But… he was right. After a few seconds, the juice went transparent on his skin except for two long slits and some violet sub-skin lines that went up the arm, only a few inches away from his shoulder. “Poison,” he stammered, again there was dizziness “Damn it…”
When he fell, Zadei catched him and put him on his bed, cursing, a layer of sweat showed on the skin of his desired one.
Teteiyusu had no other choice than let Zadei do whatever he was doing, because not only his right leg went numb, but also his whole right side, he was loosing feeling everywhere: “What kind of poison is this?”
Zadei put the blanket on him “Snake poison, of the Ankra’pro’ck. Stay calm,” he said and wanted to get up, when Teteiyusu spoke to him again:
“I don’t know you like that, Zadei-sama.”
He turned to the door “I don’t know myself like that,” replied, >I have to find that snake.<
--
Zadei had a servant bring him his weapon and went to the hall outside. He had no time to loose and somewhere in this valley was a poisonous snake, a snake that got a poison even a demon couldn’t survive. Oh, he had to hurry, who knew for how long Teteiyusu already fought the effects of it?
The Ankra’pro’ck could kill a demon in short time or let him slowly waste away… he tried to not think of it. No, he wouldn’t let his angel die, not again.
The sky became dark, a storm was coming. >I have to hurry… but where shall I begin?<
With a ripping sound, his wings freed themselves from his back; he stretched them and started into the sky to get a good overview. Ankra’pro’ck didn’t have a good camouflage with their blue-white skin. They usually didn’t need it.
The wind grew stronger, ripped leaves from the trees of Dragon Valley, a dragon mother took her child into the cave she was living in. Zadei drew his circles above the valley but couldn’t find any hint >Damn it… Tetei… please be strong.<
--
Teteiyusu felt the stiffness grab his whole body, he couldn’t move much anymore. His left arm shielded his eyes >Poison… that this must happen to me… I can’t move.<
He heard a servant run through the halls, the blowing of the wind, there was a storm coming. He lay on Zadei’s bed, it wasn’t quiet here, one could hear all the sounds of the palace that was more like a large house. He had ordered it that way because he thought Zadei wouldn’t sleep as long if he was disturbed often. He still didn’t know what finally woke him. Oh that storm, overhauling every other sound, so penetrative, just like in that one night…
>And now, the only one who can help me is that dumb bastard of a general… Zadei. How did I earn this? I’m done.<
--
It had started to rain, Zadei was wet to his bones but he didn’t care >It must be somewhere.< From a flooded hole slithered a pale, long being. A head like an arrow and almost 8 metres of length, but thin.
>The Ankra’pro’ck,< he thought, >You can only feel her bite when the snake is long gone. It numbs the extremities and finally the heart, the lungs… then you are dead, demon or not… Tetei.<
He had chosen the lance for his weapon and landed near the snake on soft, wet grass. She felt him and turned around, the long fangs raking from her mouth when she lifted itself up to appear taller than she was.
>Damn…< he felt the rage, never he would let this creature come to victory, he had to kill her for Teteiyusu, his Tetei... he mustn’t die. The rained splattered against his face and hindered his sight, then lightning struck somewhere behind him and blended the snake- that was his chance!
He threw the lance and splat the snake-throat into two parts, nailed her to the floor. But he missed the important organs, the snake lived and wound herself, tried to get a hold of Zadei with her tail. She hit him and he fell >I’ll never give up.<
Zadei collected energy in his claw like he had done so often and let it go against the Ankra’pro’ck, but how to expect from a snake of Makai, it wasn’t weak to its energies. The snake tried to free itself and hit Zadei several times, who tried to get up and take his lance. Then, he stepped on the snake’s head and cut with the lance through the snake until it stopped moving >Finally… I have to hurry.<
He cut off the head with the fangs, he didn’t even feel the rain anymore but the wind was so strong it was hard to stand, he couldn’t even think of flying. There was lightning and hail, so he hurried himself to get back to the palace; he had to be on time… Teteiyusu mustn’t die.
--
“What do we do now?” Asked one of the servants when he met others at the hall. Such a storm wasn’t expected, not here. The palace wasn’t up to it, its roof started to be torn, lightning stroke the terrace.
“Where is Teteiyusu-sama?”
“I don’t know, he isn’t in his room.”
“Maybe he is with Zadei-sama?”
“But he isn’t there…, okay, let’s look after him!”
It shouldn’t happen, a lighting stroke a decorative pillar which sadly crashed into a wall and two more important pillars. Now, the way to the east-wing was blocked: “We can’t get through!”
--
Teteiyusu heard the noise, the ceiling started to crack. >No… it can’t be… I have to go… but I can’t move… damnit… Zadei! I’m lying here defenseless, where are you? Hurry, whatever you do… hurry.<
He tried to speak, but could only croak. Tears finally dropped down his cheeks >I don’t want to die again… death was cold, dark and empty… I can’t bear that…<
--
Zadei had almost reached the palace with a roof tile shattering near his feet, when he looked up he was stuck for a moment: A large part of the eastern pillars had crashed against the building.
“TETEI!”
He ran to the building and threw the snake head at a servant “Cook that out!” Another one he asked: “Where is Teteiyusu?!” His eyes glistening dangerously.
“He’s still in the east wing!” Cried a female servant and Zadei frightened she even more, but he couldn’t care if he would, he stormed away. The room in which he had lived was short before crashing, two pillars blocked the way >Damnit!<
With all his strength and his claw the tried to get through the leftovers of a stone wall, finally he reached the door which seemed to be blocked. When he managed to open it with great care, the ceiling already broke…
--
Teteiyusu saw his life went by, the life with his tribe, the massacre, how Laures took him, how he loved him, the whole Hilda-affair, the imprisonment by Zadei, death, when Zadei became Titan and his determination… rebirth, the long years waiting, Zadei awaking… those golden eyes.
>Everything is over, it’s over…< For a moment, he thought he saw the generals shape by the door, but then the ceiling crashed >No!<
A shadow appeared above him, Zadei had jumped through the stones falling and was hit badly, he threw himself over Teteiyusu and catched the ceiling-pieces instead of him.
Because he owned the gift of regeneration it wouldn’t be as bad for him as for Teteiyusu, whose sharp mind still hadn’t strengthened his body.
They were buried and through the rain almost drowned. They were almost frozen when Zadei managed to move. He held Teteiyusu, who had lost consciousness, in his arms and collected his energy to blast them free.
It functioned and he crawled through a hole to freedom, carrying Tetei with himself.
The sight was depressing: The whole east wing crashed together but at least the storm went away.
His gaze lowered to the light person on his arms, Teteiyusu was undercooled, his silk robe wet and his body limp.
A hint of longing blinked in the eyes of Zadei, then he flew over the rocks to the still standing part of the palace where two servants awaited him at a door that once parted the floor.
“Are you ready at the kitchen?” Zadei asked gruntingly and didn’t grace the servant with a single sight, but moved quickly to Teteiyusu’s room, where he laid him on the bed.
“It’s just one more moment, Zadei-sama,” ensured a servant.
“Then HURRY and don’t stand around without meaning!” The general shouted and then the servants bowed shortly, frightened and left in a hurry.
Zadei fired the fireplace and looked at his favorite demon >I have to get him out of his wet clothes… please don’t wake up, he wouldn’t forgive me…<
He cut the clothes open and took them from the cold, pale shoulders. Then he rolled the body into all the blankets he could find and one more down-blanket. He sat down at the side of the bed and looked at Teteiyusu, impatiently waiting for the return of the servant. >Be strong,< he thought and stroke a streak of white hair out of the dying demons face.
--
Finally the servant arrived, a female servant knocked and entered carefully with a clay-bowl which contained a sticky, grey-blue substance. When she saw the pale face of Teteiyusu, she was appalled “What is with him?” She asked.
“No word, or I’ll kill you,” snarled Zadei and took the bowl from her.
Again, he had frightened the servant, she bowed down quickly and ran out of the room, closing the door.
Zadei didn’t want to loose any more time and lifted the blankets off Teteiyusu to apply the substance at Teteiyusu’s wound. He had already gotten a fever for the last hours and didn’t move except for giving a few, painful sounding noises, but Zadei knew he was awake – more or less so.
“Listen, Tetei, I know you don’t like me but do me a favor… drink this, at least a bit.”
He could have just as well talked to a wall, Teteiyusu didn’t hear him. So he had to hold him and instilled the brew to him with the hope that it wasn’t too late.
At the beginning it looked like Teteiyusu’s state was improving, he became quieter and just lay there. Zadei put the bowl at a table and sat down beneath the bed. When he looked at Teteiyusu again, his face became a mask of pain, he started to cramp and screamed at the top of his lungs. It seemed like every body region that had been numbed now was having a seizure. Zadei put his claw on Teteiyusu’s breast and put him back down. He didn’t want to think about was his beloved angel was enduring, when he was younger, he had seen too many demons die because of the Ankra’pro’ck.
After a seemingly endless hour, Teteiyusu seemed to be willing to just lay in bed an weep. It was a sad sight and the general sighed >You have to get through it, you can make it. <
He stood up to feed the fire until the flames grew yellow again, when he heard a rough whisper from the bed: “Ch.. ld… adei…”
He stood up, went to bed, sat down there and stroke rather gentle through the white hair, which’s owner wound himself uneasily below the blankets “Hm, Teteiyusu?”
His lips trembled “Cold… so cold…”
Zadei bit his lips, Tetei was delirious and he already put him warm, the fever was almost gone “Shall I warm you?”
“Y... yes…” But when he said it, Teteiyusu wasn’t with all his senses and Zadei knew, that he would probably regret lying down besides him, wrapping his arms around him and trying to give him warmth. But he seemed like breakable like china now, he had broken him once, seen, what came after that… never again.
Only when he had ripped his wings out, he realized he had ripped his heart out with them, and his own. The general placed a kiss on his hair >You are beautiful.< With that thought he hoped that he would come to health again.
--
The next morning, err… afternoon:
>Where am I?< It was the first thought that came to Teteiyusu when he woke up. He could move again, his throat was sore but as far as he could tell, he was better. Something had clamped at his shoulder and… wait! >What?<
Under his arm moved something warm… he finally brought over himself to open his eyes and let them wander farther up >HELL!<
It was a sleeping Zadei. He couldn’t comprehend how someone like that could always look so harmless in deep sleep… But when he remembered the weight around his shoulders and that it could only be the arms of Zadei and he was very, very naked, that thought was forgotten.
A short scream of surprise left him.
Suddenly Zadei was straight awake, the echo of the scream rang in his ears. In front of him was an extremely angry, blue pair of eyes. Teteiyusu sat in front of him, the blanket clawed around him as if he wanted to melt with it “What are you doing in my bed?!” He screamed furiously and redness shot into is pale cheeks.
Zadei just wanted to explain when Teteiyusu already hit him with the next best pillow “OUT! OUT OF HERE!”
“I just wanted to help you, you asked for i-“ and again a pillow in his face.
“I said: OUT!” His hand was directed at the door and it didn’t appear to Zadei as if Teteiyusu was in any state he could talk to him. It made him angry, really angry. He just gave his all to save his life, he had feared and suffered both inside and outside and that was the thank he got? But as hard as it was, he tried to stay calm, tried not to flip, tried to… actually forgive for that moment. Tried with everything that was in him not to make a mistake after he realized he was in danger to do just that.
“I go, I go!” he said, grabbed is plate and went out.
Teteiyusu observed him until the door closed, then laid a hand at his forehead “Ah… headache…”
He waited a moment till the pain went away and then got out of the blanket to get new clothes, which was… a new white silk robe. His clothing wasn’t very creative.
>That’s better… if I imagine that Zadei was in my bed… I have to change sheets…< He sat down at the side he himself had slept on and lay down into the silk pillows. >I was unfair…< He put an arm above his eyes and stayed quiet, listened to the sound of the fire. >Zadei may be rough, I will never forgive him but… he wanted to help me? I don’t understand myself anymore, why am I sorry that I chased him away?< He curled his lips >But it was too much, he can’t just lie in bed with me…<.
Slowly, drop for drop, the memory of the past days came back.
>Poison… I feel cold.< He curled up into his blanket which still smelled a bit of Zadei. Somehow, he liked that, although he wouldn’t admit it even to himself. He had intended to sleep some more and regain his strength, but his brain was already awake. He tried to order his thoughts, but they went always back to Zadei.
>Truth be told… he really isn’t that bad. Just desperate… and an idiot. Blended, dishonorable. But… not to me. He also doesn’t look that bad…<
He suddenly shook his head and buried his face in the pillows until he suffocated everything that let him think, just sleeping a little longer.
--
Zadei sat disgruntled on the top of a broken pillar, watching the servants clean up the mess the storm had left and start the first steps to rebuilding the east wing. If a servant wasn’t busy enough, he got shouted at. Because they were afraid of Zadei’s outbreaks, they preferred to make their way far around him, but one of the servants finally made the mistake of speaking to him:
“Zadei-sama? May I attend to any wish of yours?”
“Leaving me alone is a start.”
“But maybe…”
One hit with the claw and the servant wasn’t anymore. Seeing this, the others worked even faster and the general folded his arms to brood on >Well I did say that he should leave me alone,< with this, his mind went back to the natural object of his desire: Teteiyusu. >He hates me. Despite everything I’ve done, everything I do, he will always hate me… I’ve earned it, that I won’t deny. But isn’t there any chance? Will he never feel something… similar for me? Probably not,< but had grown tired of taking everything by violence, in regards to Teteiyusu. He had realized that he lost even more than he ever wanted through that.
--
The feathered demon slept until the evening and through the night, finally it was daybreak again and when he woke up, the headache still wasn’t gone and he decided to stay in his room.
The rebuilding went on for the next days, the east wing had to be stabilized and Zadei’s mood hadn’t grown any better, no servant dared to come near him after the example a few days ago.
Then, the sun of the midday burned mercilessly hot and he become hungry, yet had no intention of calling for a servant.
“Zadei-sama?”
He heard a gentle, male voice calling behind him. When he turned around he saw Teteiyusu slightly stiff staying at the foot of the pillar. In an elegant kind of manner, a kind that only belonged to the demon general, he glided down: “Leave away that –sama, Zadei is enough. Do you feel better?”
Teteiyusu seemed to be nervous, his hands clasped together “Yes, I do… Zadei…”
“Yes?” He was irritated, what was it with Tetei? He had never seen him like that, loosing his cool, was it a side effect of the poison?
“Can we talk?” With a nod he pointed to a corridor left intact.
“… sure,” Zadei replied and followed him into the dark corridor: >Why does he act so strange? He would never, never go alone with me somewhere he wasn’t absolutely safe…<.
The pale man really looked nervous, it was obvious, consistently he tried to readjust his flawlessly adjusted sleeves. “Tetei, what’s up with you?”
Suddenly he turned around and looked at him determinedly: “You still love me, right? So kiss me again!”
The general was shocked. >Did I… miss something?< “What?”
But his beloved was still standing there, still determined, face upright but with a sliver of insecurity in his eyes – although that didn’t hinder Zadei. So he kissed him, laying his hand at his beloved’s neck, and to his surprise Teteiyusu responded to his kiss, even only so slightly moving his lips against himselfs’ and although it was way to tender for his taste, the demon general enjoyed it greatly.
All this was over when he laid his claw on Teteiyusu’s shoulder, suddenly he broke free and took two steps to the wall “Excuse me,” with this he ran down the corridor into the palace.
“Tetei!” Zadei called after him, still perplexed >Now, what was just that?< After a moment of confusion he got a hold of himself and went after him.
--
The palace was larger than he had thought, he looked out for his angel for hours now. He couldn’t explain to himself what suddenly caused Teteiyusu to act this way and no servant had seen a hint of him. It was late afternoon now and he was near the kitchen when he saw a servant leave a room he never before paid attention to. Seeing him, the servant reacted suspiciously nervous.
“You! Did you see Teteiyusu?”
The servant was scared out of his mind “Z-z-zadei-sama! No! I didn’t see Teteiyusu-sama for the whole day!”
“…” Zadei looked at the door beneath him “What’s in there?”
Sweat dropped from the forehead of the servant “N-nothing is in there, Zadei-sama!”
“So if there’s nothing in there, what was your business there? You’re being lazy, or what, huh?!” He collected energy in is claw and the servant panicked:
“I’m not allowed to say it! Please, Zadei-sama, please don’t kill me!”
A bitter grin showed on the general’s face: “That’s answer enough, now go before I think about it twice!”
Immediately the servant vanished and Zadei hesitated, then entered through the door without knocking.
What he then saw hit him like a club: Teteiyusu sitting over an army of wine bottles. He didn’t trust his own eyes, dived to him and shook him slightly so he would turn around “Tetei.. you… you’re… drinking?”.
The face of the feathered demon only showed a slightly amused smile which in the eyes of Zadei was just the more enchanting because of the melancholy in the other’s eyes.
“I drank less than you think; the bottles are still full…”
Zadei let his gaze wander to the table, 16 bottles of wine, two empty and one only half filled. He stroke over Teteiyusus cheek which was warmed a bit “It’s still too much for someone like you, who never drank. What do you think to achieve with this? Why are you doing something like that? You really make no sense!” >I sound like my own grandmother because she tried to have me for breakfast…<
Teteiyusu smirked slightly “Forget it, Zadei. I’ve waited for you.” He pointed to a chair at the opposite side of the wooden table.
Zadei lifted an eyebrow “Waited for me? But telling the servants they are not allowed to tell me where you are?”
“It was only a matter of time until you had found me, and you did, didn’t you?” He replied.
Zadei grunted indefinitely. “Tetei… what’s up? What was this kiss? I know there is more to it, you aren’t a guy who plays, so don’t dare to lie to me!” His eyes glowed.
Teteiyusu laughed quietly and with a worrying touch of insanity for Zadei’s taste “Everything’s just so absurd…,” he took a drop from the fresh glass of wine, Zadei could hardly stop him.
“What’s absurd?”
“This! Everything!” He said with an all compassing gesture, “You know, I always looked for boys…” >Although for a long time, there was only Laures for me, whatever he would do, how much ever he would ignore me.< “I tried to hide it, but you knew it at once, didn’t you?”
“Uhm, well…” Zadei scratched his neck, it was just such a typical thing to do for him in moments of insecurity. He didn’t really expect Teteiyusu to, he really didn’t expect that Tetei even tended in that direction… he had desired him, he didn’t care how Teteiyusu ticked or what he liked or if he was d’accord with what he was doing to him – he surely wasn’t. Only when it was too late he had realized that he felt more than desire, that it was love, but he had already destroyed him.
“You raped me,” Teteiyusu went on, it sounded as undercooled as always, a wave of wrath appeared in his eyes. He could have lived with dying, he was sure he would die one day serving Laures, but rape? That indignity, throwing is own physical weakness right at his face… that was something else.
Zadei swallowed, looked down at the table below while Teteiyusu grew angrier.
He stood up and went pacing through the room “You know, Zadei… you can’t forgive something like that so easily, you can’t just forget it. –I- can’t just forget it! And after it, you tried to kill me!”
Zadei felt just as bad as if it just happened, maybe even more. More than one time he had regretted what happened.
“But you didn’t do it,” said Teteiyusu, laying his hand under the chin of the general to lift it up a bit, so Zadei had to see into his eyes. There was no anger, but something different.
“Zadei, I’ve forgiven you.”
His eyes grew wide when Teteiyusu came near and kissed him, it was no long kiss, just a sliver: “Zadei, I didn’t want to give in to myself, but you are more to me than I ever wanted to admit. Why do you think I would be here, with you, in exile? I… just forgot it myself, over such a long time, so many things happen and so many things didn’t happen… but when I saw into your eyes I remembered why I decided to watch over you, to come here with you. But I didn’t want to remember, I wasn’t sure if I could take it again just… just… there doesn’t seem to be another way for me now.”
The demon general was thrilled “Tetei… I don’t know what to say….”
Teteiyusu stood beside him and wrapped his arms around Zadei’s neck “Shh, just don’t say anything. Please, don’t make this even harder for me.”
Their lips met, it was incredible how soft the lips of this handsome demon were. It was still Zadei and he wouldn’t be himself if such a tender motion was enough. He tried more and led his tongue move against the silken lips, tried to enter Teteiyusu’s mouth.
He led him and responded with a bit more security. Memories came back, but those were not the painful ones, there were also the good ones, the ones that had melted his heart even through everything around them was ice. His eyes stroke down from the cheek to the collarbone of Zadei, his fingertips were followed by his lips.
>If he knows what he does?< Zadei asked himself but forgot that thought the next moment, he wouldn’t let a chance like that go by.
While one hand grabbed into the wild black hair, the other stroke over the shoulders of the general, lowered itself to his hips.
Zadei embraced Teteiyusu’s face with his claw and stroke with his thumb carefully over the cheek of the angel-like one “Tetei…”
“Shh!” His lips wandered from neck to the curve of the neck, where they stayed a bit longer.
Zadei closed his eyes enjoying this “Tetei… here?”
Teteiyusu looked up to him, laid his head to the side and appeared for a moment like a slightly dissatisfied child “Mhm, maybe you’re right. So come with me,” he said putting a kiss to his neck.
He could have sworn to see a dangerous sparkle in his eyes, but love makes blind and therefore he followed him.
--
Teteiysusu lead him, while ignoring the watchful eyes of his servants, to his room. The fireplace still glowed, there just had to be added a bit wood, while Zadei closed the door.
When he looked back at Teteiyusu, he had already turned around. Teteiyusu was beautiful, enticing in the shine of the flames. The sun outside had sank, the fireplace was the only source of light.
The feathered one came towards him, laid his arms around his hips. He was smaller than Zadei, so he had to stretch a bit to kiss him, but Zadei met him halfway.
Distinctly directing him to the bed, he pressed Zadei to lay down there.
“Don’t you want to strip that?” He asked and pointed at the plate, Zadei nodded with a smile on his face. His beloved opened the seals and stripped the plate from his body.
Again, there was this nice smell coming from Zadei, Teteiyusu adored it. He bent over the black haired demon and began to kiss his neck, to bit sometimes.
Zadei enjoyed it as long it went >It seems like he really got some experience with it…< he smiled, but how should he have known before? He never let him free back then.
He began to strip the robe off Teteiyusu and caressed the silky, pearl-white skin.
Teteiyusu let him do and placed from time to time a kiss on his collarbone. Finally the robe was off, and because he always wore a whiff of nothing beneath it, he was naked in all his beauty.
Zadei looked up to him and whispered “You are so handsome.”
His beloved looked back smiling and pressed him into the sheets; let his lips wander from the collarbone to the chest to the waist to the waistband of the general.
Zadei heaved a sigh, Teteiyusu was so near but had pinned him down… and now opened his pants. His shoulders were free and he could lift up a little, but Teteiyusu pinned him back “Lay down,” his eyes didn’t allow any disobedience.
>Alright…,< he thought and Zadei devoted himself to the intoxicated will of his lover.
His lover did know what he wanted and stripped Zadei naked, his kisses went lower but ignored a certain part. While he caressed the inner side of tigh on the one side, he stroke over the hip at the other. The general breathe in deeply and hissed “Tetei… you’re tormenting me!”
The feather-winged demon only smiled knowingly “I know, that’s why I do it.”
“That’s really evil for an angel.”
Teteiyusu watched Zadei’s face, laid his whole weight on the general, although he was a real lightweight, “I’m a demon, don’t forget that!”
His right hand grabbed the neck of his fellow and took his face more near, as hesitatingly as their lips touched, the more passionate was their kiss. A hand wandered down between the general’s legs, he moaned deeply to Teteiyusu’s mouth, who wouldn’t let him go. He stroke over his already errect member, took it in his hand and began to pump it. When he let go of his lips, Zadei moaned his name but he himself only smiled and said nothing. His tongue played with Zadei’s nipples, kissed them an nibbled at them till they got hard. He licked down his whole torso knowingly slow till he met the part he was looking for.
It surely isn’t worth mentioning how much Zadei already wanted Teteiyusu and when the lips of the white haired enclosed his organ, began to lick and suck at it, the general found himself torn between paradise and tormenting desire which he declared with quiet sighs and loud moaning. His hands burrowed into Teteiyusu’s hair, pressed his head into a better position and tried to show him what rhythm he liked.
The game went on and the generals body was already covered with a layer of sweat, climax wasn’t far away when Teteiyusu lifted his head and Zadei exclaimed with a really unmanly mixture of a sigh and scream of desperation.
Teteiyusu smiled on and his eyes contained a fire burning like Zadei never saw it. Not with Teteiyusu.
Again, Teteiyusu laid down on him and started to carass his neck, bit here, nibbled there, sucked at some places.
>This will leave markings…<
While Zadei thought that, Tetei began to shove the legs of the general spread.
>That’s what he wants to do? Well… I wouldn’t have thought that of him,< he smiled to himself and didn’t object, instead he caressed the white wings and wondered how a demon could be so soft. That soft demon lay between his legs and asked with a smug smile “You’re ready?”
“For an eternity,” the general replied.
He entered Zadei carefully with fingers, because it had been a while and maybe Zadei never had… well, it was rather a long time.
Zadei relaxed soon and didn’t break the kiss when Teteiysusu really entered him. After the kiss then he laid his head back and moaned slowly. He wasn’t near his lover for such a long time. They pressed together, Tetei lead the rhythm and cared for Zadei’s member.
It didn’t took a long time until the general reared up with the scream of a beast and climaxed, Teteiyusu followed him soon more quietly. Zadei felt a warm wave flow through his body, satisfied, he embraced the exhausted Teteiyusu who left him slowly. He seemed to fell asleep soon, so Zadei pulled the blanket around them and just held him in his arms. It just felt that good.
--
The next morning Teteiyusu woke up >Not a headache again… these were a few glasses of wine to much…< His gaze fell upon … Zadei. Again.
>A big MANY glasses too much…< He grew pale when he remembered the last night. A heavy feeling went down on his chest when he observed the unclothed demon beneath him sleeping so peacefully, how could he look so peaceful? How was he even able to?
>I had planned this differently… absolutely differently…< Carefully he got up without waking Zadei, clothing himself.
Then he went to the small armoire near the window and opened a drawer. In it, there lay an ornate, crafted dagger of Silvertwine, which could kill even Zadei. And that’s what he had intended.
He wanted to lure Zadei to his room and take his revenge, with him knowing. It would have been no challenge while he was asleep. But then there came the emotions… the kiss was an experiment, how easily he could resist Zadei, how much he felt for him.
He couldn’t.
Too much.
His hands shaking grabbed the dagger. If he couldn’t point it towards Zadei then… against his self.
Somehow he had to free himself from that demons influence, but did he want that? Did he want to throw away everything of his meaningless life if it was just about to become meaningful again?
Maybe it was the only possibility to purify him.
He grabbed the handle of the dagger with both hands and pointed the tip against himself.
He closed his eyes, soon it would be over.
“Tetei? What are you doing there?” Called a voice from the background.
>If I turn around now, I couldn’t do it…<
“Tetei?”
His hands shook more, then he let the dagger fall back into the drawer and closed it in a haste.
Zadei only heard the sound of metal because Teteiyusu’s wings were in the way.
Teteiyusu had turned around and looked deeply into the quite awake eyes of a tousled demon general whose amber gaze checked him doubting.
“Nothing,” he answered the question coldly.
A dark eyebrow was lifted in the face of the general and Zadei held his hand out for Teteiyusu “Then come here.”
Words Teteiyusu had heard so often and feared so much, but spoken so differently than ever, that sensitive, that calm and a bit sleepy. He sighed deep inside, then smiled: >So I will stay impure…,< he thought and let himself be pulled into the bed without defending.
Zadei hugged him and nestled his cheek against the other’s one.
“I love you, Tetei.”
His beloved kept silent and saw into his eyes.
Did Zadei see grief in those light blue seas? He surely doubted! Everything this night… it must have been the alcohol. It wasn’t much but maybe the weak body off Tetei couldn’t contain it? His heart grew heavy.
Teteiyusu although taught him a lesson in unpredictability using his lips on the general’s.
“I love you, too,” he smiled. >I guess.<
They lay in each others arms for a while when Zadei asked: “Tetei, will you ever sing again?”
A hint of red appeared on his cheeks and seemed to feel uncomfortable, then laughed lightly and saw into the others eyes: “Sure.”
The End
I wrote that fic back in 2002, worked it over 2005. Damn, that's a long time. It is an old translation, I have to work it over as soon as I find the time, but probably I will translate The Bookkeeper's Devil first, because I like it better.
This fic belongs to the fandom of Seimaden, probably many english speakers won't know it because I havn't seen it published overseas, anywhere. Therefore I only have the german source and some names and speak patterns may be different, although I prefer the original writing for Teteiyusu instead of Titius. The reason for this is, that in the german version the name is shortened to "Titi" and that's slang for tits. Those without wings.
So, the english in there may contain several punctuation mistakes because I wasn't good at this that time. I hope it is a good read in all other belongs.
I'm always happy for concrit & lingucrit!
Title: Voice of Two Hearts
Author: Saciel
E-Mail: angel_saciel(at)yahoo.de
Fanfiction: Seimaden
Rating: T+
Warnings: AU, lemon, hint for psychological problems, mentions rape (well, duh.)
Comment: After the end of Seimaden, one of the many „What will happen if Zadei awakes?“ stories
Teteiyusu has blue or green eyes on different pictures, I went with the blue.
Pairing: Tetei x Zadei
Disclaimer: Tetei and Zadei belong to You Higouri, I don’t get money for writing this it is just for fun. The beginning and the ice water was inspired by an unfinished fic of Ricci.
--
I remember a light.
Teteiyusu needed to live, even if I never saw him again.
I feel Laures presence just for a short time… then the energy flows.
He will survive.
And I… what will happen to me?
Where do demons go if they die?
I come from hell…
Heaven? Ridiculous.
It follows… nothing.
I died a long time ago.
--
Where am I?
I feel something soft… a blanket? How do I lie on a blanket?
Argh! This headache… I can’t be dead. If I was dead, there would be no pain… or would there?
Who knows?
I want to get up… but I can’t.
My legs and arms are heavy, I can’t open my eyes. The darkness is everywhere around me.
Loneliness.
For how long did I lay here?
I don’t know… I know nothing for real. Was my life real or a dream?
But… what is this?
There is just darkness but… something… is there, something more.
I feel warmth, for almost an eternity I feel something!
How much time has gone by?
There… there was something. A… a bird? Was this the twitter of a bird?
There it is again.. a tune, another one, it must be a word… which one… I don’t know it but.. it has to be a kind of song.
Someone sings! But who?
Who owns this lovely voice which gives me the feeling… the feeling of… having my heart ripped out?
It is… enticing…
My heart burns.
--
300 years after the evens of Seimaden:
Teteiyusu stood at the balustrade of a wide terrace. The wind blew through his long, silky white hair.
His eyes had that shadow of loneliness when he layed them upon the land. There were smooth, green hills which became mountains in a distance. A small forest surrounded the valley, quite through it lay a cherry ally.
For a second, most of it was darkened by the shadow of a dragon. It was the Dragon Valley.
A valley like paradise, a human would say. But a demon?
The truth was, it was a valley of exile, banishment, unspeakably empty and lonely.
Why did he ever went here?
Once, Zadei tried to kill Laures to get HIM, yes HIM, the energy he needed to survive.
But he couldn’t let him do that, so he had to oppose Zadei. But Zadei did something that he didn’t understand – he gave all his energy to him, only through that he lived.
That mysterious, white light gave him a new life and a new pair of wings.
He remembered what Zadei had said in that night when he thought he was sleeping ~I love you~ but he still didn’t understand and neither could he understand himself.
Lost in thoughts, Teteiyusu looked at his marble-like hands which fingernails looked a bit golden since then.
They said, Zadei would sleep for 100 years, so he decided to go with him into this peaceful valley which was banishment.
He could never go back, and in the beginning he also didn’t want to.
He felt responsible for Zadei, but that feeling went away…
He waited for 200 years, but Zadei didn’t awake.
He tried everything to wake him up, but nothing helped.
He read to him aloud, he tried many medicines.
He laid him into icy water for seven hours until he almost freezed, but Zadei didn’t show any reaction.
300 years went by and in Teteiyusu grew a bitter desperation.
He wanted to go back! He couldn’t bear this loneliness anymore!
When he looked at him… Zadei lay there on the slim, soft bed with the many pillows and a blanket of silk. He was motionless, like dead.
He wasn’t that, that told Teteiyusu himself, he only slept. He didn’t expect him to wake up anymore.
He had waited so long for him, so long…
Today was the day he wanted to try something new to wake him up, it wasn’t like he had anything else to do. But he had no idea left what could function.
The winged demon sat in that sterile, white room, near the window from where he could look at Zadei. Memories from old times came back, long, long before he met Laures.
A song of his old home, which didn’t exist anymore for a long time now. Demons, who mistook his tribe for angels killed them all.
A song his grandfather, who was so long gone now, sang to him.
He began to sing, only hesitantly at first, he didn’t know the text anymore… it was a very ancient language.
~ Me, a hole he, ma dia ma, a hola he. Ta, eduama, violarna, vitali se. Te, go hama he, a tia ma, ma mia he. Go, violarna, vitanasa, a hole he.~
He sat down on the chair near the bed of the black haired demon and looked if there was any difference. There was none. No difference, no motion, nothing.
“I didn’t expect anything else…” he said quietly to himself. The demon went back to the window and sang on, the same text, the same melody, always repeating like a mantra.
His voice was divine, his appearance was that of an angel.
Some Hitrou, bird-like creatures, sat down at the sill and twittered while he paused or listened.
Teteiyusu took a liking to that, although the singing didn’t bring any success, but it let him forget his loneliness just for a moment.
--
He is… wonderful.
It is… I guess… the first time that I –wanted- to cry.
But it is too late now.
I couldn’t do it.
As a demon general, I wouldn’t even be allowed to do it. Never.
But.. it is wonderful.
I want to see to whom this voice belongs to, just for a single last time, this wonderful voice…
I want to… and I CAN!
--
Teteiyusu closed his eyes, he knew Zadei would never awake again. He gave up a long time ago.
His life was over, he couldn’t go away from here, he felt the tears in his eyes and didn’t grant himself the indignity to loose them.
It was enough for today, probably he should eat something. Standing up and heading for the door, he turned around for a last time… and blue eyes looked into amber ones.
--
That couldn’t be true… it couldn’t be true. These blue eyes, the white hair, the cold but now slightly surprised face… Tetei!
Zadei he let his claw dart out at Teteiyusus wrists: “Tetei!”
“Z-zadei-sama?” The pale demon couldn’t say anymore, it happened too suddenly.
Zadei had accroached him into an embrace he couldn’t flee from. He laid his claw at Teteiyusu’s neck and pressed his lips on his own.
Silence.
For a moment the two demons just lay in each others arms and enjoyed the kiss before both gained a sudden consciousness of what they were doing and made a distance between them.
Zadei sat half-upright at his bed and looked at Teteiyusu with eyes wide open, but Teteiyusu himself had closed his eyes for a moment when he suddenly realized his body met the floor.
As fast as he could he got up and left the room, while Zadei felt a certain dizziness from his fast movements – he didn’t have another choice and fell back into the pillows, fighting with consciousness.
--
Can it be true? – No, never, it has to be a dream.
But… it felt so real and for a moment I was so close to him… but it can’t be! Tetei would never, never let something like that happen. Wasn’t it him who called me a pervert then?
Zadei tried to fight the sleepiness, but it was a fight he lost. The darkness took him into her thickly veiled arms.
--
Teteiyusu ran the floor down to a room with a burning fireplace. He sat down in front of it and hugged himself with his wings.
How could that happen?
Finally, finally did Zadei awake, after 300 years and now… he didn’t know if it was good or bad. He had desired it for such a long time, but why did he, right after awaking, have to do something like this? How could he do this to him?
Zadei kissed him and he didn’t even defend himself against that, to the opposite, he somehow enjoyed it, just for a short moment.
But there were this fear, the fear after everything Zadei had done to him. He raped him, he ripped his wings out, only thanks to him he died. But Zadei ‘made go away’, or it appeared that he wanted that.
Enough of this, he awaked and he had waited 300 years for this.
Surely he wasn’t as strong now as before, which meant he wouldn’t become more dangerous than he would let him be and on the other hand, he had to care for him.
Teteiyusu went to the kitchen on fast feet, because he had no help here, he had to cook himself. It was hard at the beginning, but although he would never admit it to anyone, he liked cooking now. Especially now, for two.
--
Slowly the fog of darkness went away, the sensations in Zadeis arms, legs, claws and feet came slowly back. He smelled something. When he opened his eyes, he saw Teteiyusu: His wonderful angel… but Tetei watched him with a mixture of fear and desperation and something more… hate.
“Tetei…,” he began weakly, “What are you doing here? Why aren’t I dead?” He smiled slightly so his fangs showed “You look beautiful to me.”
Teteiyusu bit his lower lip, what did that bastard think? This was no tea-party.
“I neither have the strength nor the will to talk to YOU, Zadei-sama.” Again, Teteiyusus face had this cold, calculating masked which Zadei knew all too well. “Eat this,” Teteiyusu said before he quickly left the room.
Zadei tried to get after him, but he couldn’t and Tetei knew that, he was too weak. Zadei looked at the bowl on the small glass table beneath his bed, it seemed to contain a kind of soup. Was this actually eatable? He wasn’t too sure. He wasn’t too sure what was going on and what game was being played on him and why of all people Teteiyusu was here.
Teteiysusu HATED him, he just showed him, and he had enough reasons to hate him so why was it Teteiyusu who sat there when he woke up?
The palace seemed abandoned, at least he didn’t hear more than Teteiyusu’s steps and he didn’t hear any other voices.
Before… before was the kiss. He couldn’t get it out of his head. Every time he kissed him, Teteiyusu defended himself like a fury, but this time he didn’t. What happened?
He looked back at the soup again, a bit hungry he did feel, indeed. But what if the soup was cursed? Nonsense, why should Tetei watch him sleep if he wanted to kill him?
After hesitating, he tried the soup and found out it tasted just fine.
The silence around here… it was strange. If they didn’t led someone come here because they were afraid to waste a servant on him? It just would fit Laures regime.
He tried to get up again. but of course that didn’t work. His gaze went to the door Tetei escaped through. >Tetei… why aren’t you mine?<
An emotion he didn’t know. An emotion called loneliness, something he never was aware of. He wished he never was because it was horrible. Teteiyusu, his angel, was the only thing he could think of, but he was the only being of pure hate toward him.
--
Never had he felt that bad, he wasn’t master of his own thoughts. Everywhere was Zadei, Zadei, Zadei, even more Zadei. Why couldn’t he get him out of his head? 300 years he waited for what? Was it the same fate he would begin anew?
It was obvious: Zadei would try to overthrow Laures again as soon as he could his power back, but if that would be so easy was another question…
While Zadei was asleep, Laures had more than enough time to become more and more powerful, did Zadei even know how long he slept?
And again his thought were only with him… but at whom he should think? Here, there were no other beings than the fairy creatures who lived in the Dragon Valley for millennia.
How Zadei looked at him… these golden eyes had burned themselves deep into Teteiyusu’s self. He knew Zadei’s ‘feelings’ for him didn’t change, but what about him?
He tried to convince himself that there was nothing for the demon general than hate.
Deep, cold hate.
But he couldn’t.
Although Zadei abused him, which he could never forgive him, a little voice in his subconsciousness whispered: There is more.
He shook his head, did his brain play a joke at him? Was he lonely for so long that he would throw himself at the only conspecific that was left, even if that was Zadei?
Yes, that had to be the answer. Teteiyusu nodded, absent-minded curled up in front of the fireplace. This had to be the solution, it was a nice solution, he liked it and accepted it and would work on the problem from now on.
But deep in his heart screamed a voice: That isn’t it! It isn’t like that!
--
The next morning, Teteiyusu had gotten a hold of himself, he felt ready to face Zadei again. He prepared something to eat for him.
Going down the hall, he felt a bit dizzy, lend down against a wall and realized the magical clay-orbs which were securely stored in one of the glass-shelves. They were intended to grow servants from them to facilitate the housework. No real people but no real golems, servants with replicated personalities of good but dead idols.
Although he never used them, maybe he wanted that certain loneliness. The years going by had helped him to get over Laures. He looked at the orbs and thought about using the servants. Now with Zadei conscious, he maybe could use some help. Then he shook his head – no, NOW he didn’t use them anymore. He straightened himself and went on.
When he reached Zadei’s door, he knocked shortly and went in: “Listen, Zadei-sama, you have slept for a long time, but now there are some rules to fol…,” his words stuck in his throat – the room was empty!
Pillows, blanket, everything lay around in a disordered manner but no sign of the general. >Oh no, where could he be? He won’t be out there to…,< he panicked. What could lead the weakened Zadei to stand up in his state? Except… he wasn’t as weak as he acted. Teteiyusu had a dark thought: >I have to find him before he finds me…< he put the bowl down and left the room, ran down the terrace and watchful let his gaze wipe over the white marble bottom.
>Nothing… nothing… nothing… also not… wait, what’s that?< He made out a shadow near the stairs down to the cherry ally, it was hand no… a claw, Zadei!
He hurried down just to find an exhausted Zadei lie below the stairs, half the way to Teteiyusus sleeping chamber, did he look out for him?
--
He had to do something, he didn’t have choice, it was important… what was it again? The headache tormented his skull like an axe trying to split him. Stars danced in front of his eyes and the world become more and more dark. Before he could do anything, he found himself on cold, hard marble and sharp steps pressed against his waist. He tried to claw into the ground, but the dizziness didn’t go away.
Was there somebody? >Tetei? TETEI!< he tried to call for him, his angel, he was in danger but he could only crawk. It was disgracing but he could only crawl towards him.
“WHAT are you DOING here?!” He heard the furious voice of his caretaker, “You can’t just wander around here! You are weak! Do you know how much you frightened me?”
>Frightened?< he thought >I frightened him? Uhh…< there it was again, the headache. >I have to tell him, he has to know!< He tried to grab Tetei, but he could hardly lift his arm.
--
Teteiyusu was shocked by himself, did he really say that? But it was the truth… just how may that sound for someone like Zadei? If he even heard him… he looked at the picture of misery in front of his feet that tried desperately to say words while snapping for air. He was wrong, it was no trap, Zadei was as weak as never before, but what did he do out here?
He had to take him back into his room, it was too cold around here. He had no other way left than using the clay-orbs “I’m just back, don’t move!” He said and went away.
--
The demon general only saw white silk flowing away and gave up the try to speak, sank down on the marble. >I … have to warn him! I have to get all my strength… nothing… may happen to him…<
Shortly after that, the feather-winged demon reappeared with the company of a few servants which took Zadei on an instant- stretcher, but Zadei moved that hastingly they had to stop. Teteiyusu came amazingly near “Please, be reasonable for once!”
Finally, he could grab his wrist: “Tetei… you have to look out for…,” Then, the blackness came back, “Look out for… you… danger… Ankra-“ He lost consciousness and the servants brought him back to his bed.
Teteiyusu was left standing there, what did the demon try to say? >Ankra? No, it was part of a longer word… but which? I don’t know one with such a beginning…,< he thought about it for a while but then went back into the palace.
--
It took Zadei four days until he opened his eyes again. He regained a portion of his strength and felt altogether a lot better.
Teteiyusu couldn’t say that from himself, he felt worse for the past days. He often felt sudden dizziness, sickness, couldn’t bear certain smells. One of the servants joked that he could be pregnant, for that indignity he banished him to the cellar for time to come. Although his low standard health status, he didn’t miss any visits to Zadei, when he heard that he had woken up, he went there soon with a bowl of fruits.
Zadei sat casually at the bed and looked to the door. His paleness was gone and he appeared well. When Teteiyusu entered, his hands started to shake and shocked Zadei. Dark shadows were beneath the eyes of the white demon and he seemed even more pale than usual, was it too late?
“Tetei!” He called out.
The called one, obviously ignoring his disease, gave him a disapproving look: “So?”
“You don’t look well.”
His eyes grew small “I’m fine, take rather care of yourself, so you don’t only lay around here!”
Zadei was amused by the tune in Teteiyusu’s voice that was almost an imperative, but then again he worried about him, that wasn’t hard to admit.
>What does he think?< Teteiyusu took the bowl to the small table so Zadei could get it, but not to near to that guy… all suddenly, his right leg grew numb and he fell.
The bowl broke at the bottom, where he would have found himself, too, if it were not for two strong arms which sat him on a chair, Zadei.
Teteiyusu felt a slint of electricity where the other touched him: “Let go! At once! What is this…?!” But Zadei didn’t let go: “Please, now YOU be reasonable, Tetei! You were poisoned!”
The white winged stood still, hesitated and looked sharply at him: “WHO would poison me? That’s ridiculous! I’m FINE and now let.go.”
“No!” Zadei’s grip was as steady as always, with his free hand he grabbed a violet fruit from the floor and broke it, looked up at his fellow “Kuave, it’s juice detects poison,” Just one of the tricks he learned during his military times long ago. He lifted the sleeve of the white silk clothing and stroke with half of the fruit above the skin.
Teteiyusu’s breath went faster, who would poison him? What did Zadei want? But… he was right. After a few seconds, the juice went transparent on his skin except for two long slits and some violet sub-skin lines that went up the arm, only a few inches away from his shoulder. “Poison,” he stammered, again there was dizziness “Damn it…”
When he fell, Zadei catched him and put him on his bed, cursing, a layer of sweat showed on the skin of his desired one.
Teteiyusu had no other choice than let Zadei do whatever he was doing, because not only his right leg went numb, but also his whole right side, he was loosing feeling everywhere: “What kind of poison is this?”
Zadei put the blanket on him “Snake poison, of the Ankra’pro’ck. Stay calm,” he said and wanted to get up, when Teteiyusu spoke to him again:
“I don’t know you like that, Zadei-sama.”
He turned to the door “I don’t know myself like that,” replied, >I have to find that snake.<
--
Zadei had a servant bring him his weapon and went to the hall outside. He had no time to loose and somewhere in this valley was a poisonous snake, a snake that got a poison even a demon couldn’t survive. Oh, he had to hurry, who knew for how long Teteiyusu already fought the effects of it?
The Ankra’pro’ck could kill a demon in short time or let him slowly waste away… he tried to not think of it. No, he wouldn’t let his angel die, not again.
The sky became dark, a storm was coming. >I have to hurry… but where shall I begin?<
With a ripping sound, his wings freed themselves from his back; he stretched them and started into the sky to get a good overview. Ankra’pro’ck didn’t have a good camouflage with their blue-white skin. They usually didn’t need it.
The wind grew stronger, ripped leaves from the trees of Dragon Valley, a dragon mother took her child into the cave she was living in. Zadei drew his circles above the valley but couldn’t find any hint >Damn it… Tetei… please be strong.<
--
Teteiyusu felt the stiffness grab his whole body, he couldn’t move much anymore. His left arm shielded his eyes >Poison… that this must happen to me… I can’t move.<
He heard a servant run through the halls, the blowing of the wind, there was a storm coming. He lay on Zadei’s bed, it wasn’t quiet here, one could hear all the sounds of the palace that was more like a large house. He had ordered it that way because he thought Zadei wouldn’t sleep as long if he was disturbed often. He still didn’t know what finally woke him. Oh that storm, overhauling every other sound, so penetrative, just like in that one night…
>And now, the only one who can help me is that dumb bastard of a general… Zadei. How did I earn this? I’m done.<
--
It had started to rain, Zadei was wet to his bones but he didn’t care >It must be somewhere.< From a flooded hole slithered a pale, long being. A head like an arrow and almost 8 metres of length, but thin.
>The Ankra’pro’ck,< he thought, >You can only feel her bite when the snake is long gone. It numbs the extremities and finally the heart, the lungs… then you are dead, demon or not… Tetei.<
He had chosen the lance for his weapon and landed near the snake on soft, wet grass. She felt him and turned around, the long fangs raking from her mouth when she lifted itself up to appear taller than she was.
>Damn…< he felt the rage, never he would let this creature come to victory, he had to kill her for Teteiyusu, his Tetei... he mustn’t die. The rained splattered against his face and hindered his sight, then lightning struck somewhere behind him and blended the snake- that was his chance!
He threw the lance and splat the snake-throat into two parts, nailed her to the floor. But he missed the important organs, the snake lived and wound herself, tried to get a hold of Zadei with her tail. She hit him and he fell >I’ll never give up.<
Zadei collected energy in his claw like he had done so often and let it go against the Ankra’pro’ck, but how to expect from a snake of Makai, it wasn’t weak to its energies. The snake tried to free itself and hit Zadei several times, who tried to get up and take his lance. Then, he stepped on the snake’s head and cut with the lance through the snake until it stopped moving >Finally… I have to hurry.<
He cut off the head with the fangs, he didn’t even feel the rain anymore but the wind was so strong it was hard to stand, he couldn’t even think of flying. There was lightning and hail, so he hurried himself to get back to the palace; he had to be on time… Teteiyusu mustn’t die.
--
“What do we do now?” Asked one of the servants when he met others at the hall. Such a storm wasn’t expected, not here. The palace wasn’t up to it, its roof started to be torn, lightning stroke the terrace.
“Where is Teteiyusu-sama?”
“I don’t know, he isn’t in his room.”
“Maybe he is with Zadei-sama?”
“But he isn’t there…, okay, let’s look after him!”
It shouldn’t happen, a lighting stroke a decorative pillar which sadly crashed into a wall and two more important pillars. Now, the way to the east-wing was blocked: “We can’t get through!”
--
Teteiyusu heard the noise, the ceiling started to crack. >No… it can’t be… I have to go… but I can’t move… damnit… Zadei! I’m lying here defenseless, where are you? Hurry, whatever you do… hurry.<
He tried to speak, but could only croak. Tears finally dropped down his cheeks >I don’t want to die again… death was cold, dark and empty… I can’t bear that…<
--
Zadei had almost reached the palace with a roof tile shattering near his feet, when he looked up he was stuck for a moment: A large part of the eastern pillars had crashed against the building.
“TETEI!”
He ran to the building and threw the snake head at a servant “Cook that out!” Another one he asked: “Where is Teteiyusu?!” His eyes glistening dangerously.
“He’s still in the east wing!” Cried a female servant and Zadei frightened she even more, but he couldn’t care if he would, he stormed away. The room in which he had lived was short before crashing, two pillars blocked the way >Damnit!<
With all his strength and his claw the tried to get through the leftovers of a stone wall, finally he reached the door which seemed to be blocked. When he managed to open it with great care, the ceiling already broke…
--
Teteiyusu saw his life went by, the life with his tribe, the massacre, how Laures took him, how he loved him, the whole Hilda-affair, the imprisonment by Zadei, death, when Zadei became Titan and his determination… rebirth, the long years waiting, Zadei awaking… those golden eyes.
>Everything is over, it’s over…< For a moment, he thought he saw the generals shape by the door, but then the ceiling crashed >No!<
A shadow appeared above him, Zadei had jumped through the stones falling and was hit badly, he threw himself over Teteiyusu and catched the ceiling-pieces instead of him.
Because he owned the gift of regeneration it wouldn’t be as bad for him as for Teteiyusu, whose sharp mind still hadn’t strengthened his body.
They were buried and through the rain almost drowned. They were almost frozen when Zadei managed to move. He held Teteiyusu, who had lost consciousness, in his arms and collected his energy to blast them free.
It functioned and he crawled through a hole to freedom, carrying Tetei with himself.
The sight was depressing: The whole east wing crashed together but at least the storm went away.
His gaze lowered to the light person on his arms, Teteiyusu was undercooled, his silk robe wet and his body limp.
A hint of longing blinked in the eyes of Zadei, then he flew over the rocks to the still standing part of the palace where two servants awaited him at a door that once parted the floor.
“Are you ready at the kitchen?” Zadei asked gruntingly and didn’t grace the servant with a single sight, but moved quickly to Teteiyusu’s room, where he laid him on the bed.
“It’s just one more moment, Zadei-sama,” ensured a servant.
“Then HURRY and don’t stand around without meaning!” The general shouted and then the servants bowed shortly, frightened and left in a hurry.
Zadei fired the fireplace and looked at his favorite demon >I have to get him out of his wet clothes… please don’t wake up, he wouldn’t forgive me…<
He cut the clothes open and took them from the cold, pale shoulders. Then he rolled the body into all the blankets he could find and one more down-blanket. He sat down at the side of the bed and looked at Teteiyusu, impatiently waiting for the return of the servant. >Be strong,< he thought and stroke a streak of white hair out of the dying demons face.
--
Finally the servant arrived, a female servant knocked and entered carefully with a clay-bowl which contained a sticky, grey-blue substance. When she saw the pale face of Teteiyusu, she was appalled “What is with him?” She asked.
“No word, or I’ll kill you,” snarled Zadei and took the bowl from her.
Again, he had frightened the servant, she bowed down quickly and ran out of the room, closing the door.
Zadei didn’t want to loose any more time and lifted the blankets off Teteiyusu to apply the substance at Teteiyusu’s wound. He had already gotten a fever for the last hours and didn’t move except for giving a few, painful sounding noises, but Zadei knew he was awake – more or less so.
“Listen, Tetei, I know you don’t like me but do me a favor… drink this, at least a bit.”
He could have just as well talked to a wall, Teteiyusu didn’t hear him. So he had to hold him and instilled the brew to him with the hope that it wasn’t too late.
At the beginning it looked like Teteiyusu’s state was improving, he became quieter and just lay there. Zadei put the bowl at a table and sat down beneath the bed. When he looked at Teteiyusu again, his face became a mask of pain, he started to cramp and screamed at the top of his lungs. It seemed like every body region that had been numbed now was having a seizure. Zadei put his claw on Teteiyusu’s breast and put him back down. He didn’t want to think about was his beloved angel was enduring, when he was younger, he had seen too many demons die because of the Ankra’pro’ck.
After a seemingly endless hour, Teteiyusu seemed to be willing to just lay in bed an weep. It was a sad sight and the general sighed >You have to get through it, you can make it. <
He stood up to feed the fire until the flames grew yellow again, when he heard a rough whisper from the bed: “Ch.. ld… adei…”
He stood up, went to bed, sat down there and stroke rather gentle through the white hair, which’s owner wound himself uneasily below the blankets “Hm, Teteiyusu?”
His lips trembled “Cold… so cold…”
Zadei bit his lips, Tetei was delirious and he already put him warm, the fever was almost gone “Shall I warm you?”
“Y... yes…” But when he said it, Teteiyusu wasn’t with all his senses and Zadei knew, that he would probably regret lying down besides him, wrapping his arms around him and trying to give him warmth. But he seemed like breakable like china now, he had broken him once, seen, what came after that… never again.
Only when he had ripped his wings out, he realized he had ripped his heart out with them, and his own. The general placed a kiss on his hair >You are beautiful.< With that thought he hoped that he would come to health again.
--
The next morning, err… afternoon:
>Where am I?< It was the first thought that came to Teteiyusu when he woke up. He could move again, his throat was sore but as far as he could tell, he was better. Something had clamped at his shoulder and… wait! >What?<
Under his arm moved something warm… he finally brought over himself to open his eyes and let them wander farther up >HELL!<
It was a sleeping Zadei. He couldn’t comprehend how someone like that could always look so harmless in deep sleep… But when he remembered the weight around his shoulders and that it could only be the arms of Zadei and he was very, very naked, that thought was forgotten.
A short scream of surprise left him.
Suddenly Zadei was straight awake, the echo of the scream rang in his ears. In front of him was an extremely angry, blue pair of eyes. Teteiyusu sat in front of him, the blanket clawed around him as if he wanted to melt with it “What are you doing in my bed?!” He screamed furiously and redness shot into is pale cheeks.
Zadei just wanted to explain when Teteiyusu already hit him with the next best pillow “OUT! OUT OF HERE!”
“I just wanted to help you, you asked for i-“ and again a pillow in his face.
“I said: OUT!” His hand was directed at the door and it didn’t appear to Zadei as if Teteiyusu was in any state he could talk to him. It made him angry, really angry. He just gave his all to save his life, he had feared and suffered both inside and outside and that was the thank he got? But as hard as it was, he tried to stay calm, tried not to flip, tried to… actually forgive for that moment. Tried with everything that was in him not to make a mistake after he realized he was in danger to do just that.
“I go, I go!” he said, grabbed is plate and went out.
Teteiyusu observed him until the door closed, then laid a hand at his forehead “Ah… headache…”
He waited a moment till the pain went away and then got out of the blanket to get new clothes, which was… a new white silk robe. His clothing wasn’t very creative.
>That’s better… if I imagine that Zadei was in my bed… I have to change sheets…< He sat down at the side he himself had slept on and lay down into the silk pillows. >I was unfair…< He put an arm above his eyes and stayed quiet, listened to the sound of the fire. >Zadei may be rough, I will never forgive him but… he wanted to help me? I don’t understand myself anymore, why am I sorry that I chased him away?< He curled his lips >But it was too much, he can’t just lie in bed with me…<.
Slowly, drop for drop, the memory of the past days came back.
>Poison… I feel cold.< He curled up into his blanket which still smelled a bit of Zadei. Somehow, he liked that, although he wouldn’t admit it even to himself. He had intended to sleep some more and regain his strength, but his brain was already awake. He tried to order his thoughts, but they went always back to Zadei.
>Truth be told… he really isn’t that bad. Just desperate… and an idiot. Blended, dishonorable. But… not to me. He also doesn’t look that bad…<
He suddenly shook his head and buried his face in the pillows until he suffocated everything that let him think, just sleeping a little longer.
--
Zadei sat disgruntled on the top of a broken pillar, watching the servants clean up the mess the storm had left and start the first steps to rebuilding the east wing. If a servant wasn’t busy enough, he got shouted at. Because they were afraid of Zadei’s outbreaks, they preferred to make their way far around him, but one of the servants finally made the mistake of speaking to him:
“Zadei-sama? May I attend to any wish of yours?”
“Leaving me alone is a start.”
“But maybe…”
One hit with the claw and the servant wasn’t anymore. Seeing this, the others worked even faster and the general folded his arms to brood on >Well I did say that he should leave me alone,< with this, his mind went back to the natural object of his desire: Teteiyusu. >He hates me. Despite everything I’ve done, everything I do, he will always hate me… I’ve earned it, that I won’t deny. But isn’t there any chance? Will he never feel something… similar for me? Probably not,< but had grown tired of taking everything by violence, in regards to Teteiyusu. He had realized that he lost even more than he ever wanted through that.
--
The feathered demon slept until the evening and through the night, finally it was daybreak again and when he woke up, the headache still wasn’t gone and he decided to stay in his room.
The rebuilding went on for the next days, the east wing had to be stabilized and Zadei’s mood hadn’t grown any better, no servant dared to come near him after the example a few days ago.
Then, the sun of the midday burned mercilessly hot and he become hungry, yet had no intention of calling for a servant.
“Zadei-sama?”
He heard a gentle, male voice calling behind him. When he turned around he saw Teteiyusu slightly stiff staying at the foot of the pillar. In an elegant kind of manner, a kind that only belonged to the demon general, he glided down: “Leave away that –sama, Zadei is enough. Do you feel better?”
Teteiyusu seemed to be nervous, his hands clasped together “Yes, I do… Zadei…”
“Yes?” He was irritated, what was it with Tetei? He had never seen him like that, loosing his cool, was it a side effect of the poison?
“Can we talk?” With a nod he pointed to a corridor left intact.
“… sure,” Zadei replied and followed him into the dark corridor: >Why does he act so strange? He would never, never go alone with me somewhere he wasn’t absolutely safe…<.
The pale man really looked nervous, it was obvious, consistently he tried to readjust his flawlessly adjusted sleeves. “Tetei, what’s up with you?”
Suddenly he turned around and looked at him determinedly: “You still love me, right? So kiss me again!”
The general was shocked. >Did I… miss something?< “What?”
But his beloved was still standing there, still determined, face upright but with a sliver of insecurity in his eyes – although that didn’t hinder Zadei. So he kissed him, laying his hand at his beloved’s neck, and to his surprise Teteiyusu responded to his kiss, even only so slightly moving his lips against himselfs’ and although it was way to tender for his taste, the demon general enjoyed it greatly.
All this was over when he laid his claw on Teteiyusu’s shoulder, suddenly he broke free and took two steps to the wall “Excuse me,” with this he ran down the corridor into the palace.
“Tetei!” Zadei called after him, still perplexed >Now, what was just that?< After a moment of confusion he got a hold of himself and went after him.
--
The palace was larger than he had thought, he looked out for his angel for hours now. He couldn’t explain to himself what suddenly caused Teteiyusu to act this way and no servant had seen a hint of him. It was late afternoon now and he was near the kitchen when he saw a servant leave a room he never before paid attention to. Seeing him, the servant reacted suspiciously nervous.
“You! Did you see Teteiyusu?”
The servant was scared out of his mind “Z-z-zadei-sama! No! I didn’t see Teteiyusu-sama for the whole day!”
“…” Zadei looked at the door beneath him “What’s in there?”
Sweat dropped from the forehead of the servant “N-nothing is in there, Zadei-sama!”
“So if there’s nothing in there, what was your business there? You’re being lazy, or what, huh?!” He collected energy in is claw and the servant panicked:
“I’m not allowed to say it! Please, Zadei-sama, please don’t kill me!”
A bitter grin showed on the general’s face: “That’s answer enough, now go before I think about it twice!”
Immediately the servant vanished and Zadei hesitated, then entered through the door without knocking.
What he then saw hit him like a club: Teteiyusu sitting over an army of wine bottles. He didn’t trust his own eyes, dived to him and shook him slightly so he would turn around “Tetei.. you… you’re… drinking?”.
The face of the feathered demon only showed a slightly amused smile which in the eyes of Zadei was just the more enchanting because of the melancholy in the other’s eyes.
“I drank less than you think; the bottles are still full…”
Zadei let his gaze wander to the table, 16 bottles of wine, two empty and one only half filled. He stroke over Teteiyusus cheek which was warmed a bit “It’s still too much for someone like you, who never drank. What do you think to achieve with this? Why are you doing something like that? You really make no sense!” >I sound like my own grandmother because she tried to have me for breakfast…<
Teteiyusu smirked slightly “Forget it, Zadei. I’ve waited for you.” He pointed to a chair at the opposite side of the wooden table.
Zadei lifted an eyebrow “Waited for me? But telling the servants they are not allowed to tell me where you are?”
“It was only a matter of time until you had found me, and you did, didn’t you?” He replied.
Zadei grunted indefinitely. “Tetei… what’s up? What was this kiss? I know there is more to it, you aren’t a guy who plays, so don’t dare to lie to me!” His eyes glowed.
Teteiyusu laughed quietly and with a worrying touch of insanity for Zadei’s taste “Everything’s just so absurd…,” he took a drop from the fresh glass of wine, Zadei could hardly stop him.
“What’s absurd?”
“This! Everything!” He said with an all compassing gesture, “You know, I always looked for boys…” >Although for a long time, there was only Laures for me, whatever he would do, how much ever he would ignore me.< “I tried to hide it, but you knew it at once, didn’t you?”
“Uhm, well…” Zadei scratched his neck, it was just such a typical thing to do for him in moments of insecurity. He didn’t really expect Teteiyusu to, he really didn’t expect that Tetei even tended in that direction… he had desired him, he didn’t care how Teteiyusu ticked or what he liked or if he was d’accord with what he was doing to him – he surely wasn’t. Only when it was too late he had realized that he felt more than desire, that it was love, but he had already destroyed him.
“You raped me,” Teteiyusu went on, it sounded as undercooled as always, a wave of wrath appeared in his eyes. He could have lived with dying, he was sure he would die one day serving Laures, but rape? That indignity, throwing is own physical weakness right at his face… that was something else.
Zadei swallowed, looked down at the table below while Teteiyusu grew angrier.
He stood up and went pacing through the room “You know, Zadei… you can’t forgive something like that so easily, you can’t just forget it. –I- can’t just forget it! And after it, you tried to kill me!”
Zadei felt just as bad as if it just happened, maybe even more. More than one time he had regretted what happened.
“But you didn’t do it,” said Teteiyusu, laying his hand under the chin of the general to lift it up a bit, so Zadei had to see into his eyes. There was no anger, but something different.
“Zadei, I’ve forgiven you.”
His eyes grew wide when Teteiyusu came near and kissed him, it was no long kiss, just a sliver: “Zadei, I didn’t want to give in to myself, but you are more to me than I ever wanted to admit. Why do you think I would be here, with you, in exile? I… just forgot it myself, over such a long time, so many things happen and so many things didn’t happen… but when I saw into your eyes I remembered why I decided to watch over you, to come here with you. But I didn’t want to remember, I wasn’t sure if I could take it again just… just… there doesn’t seem to be another way for me now.”
The demon general was thrilled “Tetei… I don’t know what to say….”
Teteiyusu stood beside him and wrapped his arms around Zadei’s neck “Shh, just don’t say anything. Please, don’t make this even harder for me.”
Their lips met, it was incredible how soft the lips of this handsome demon were. It was still Zadei and he wouldn’t be himself if such a tender motion was enough. He tried more and led his tongue move against the silken lips, tried to enter Teteiyusu’s mouth.
He led him and responded with a bit more security. Memories came back, but those were not the painful ones, there were also the good ones, the ones that had melted his heart even through everything around them was ice. His eyes stroke down from the cheek to the collarbone of Zadei, his fingertips were followed by his lips.
>If he knows what he does?< Zadei asked himself but forgot that thought the next moment, he wouldn’t let a chance like that go by.
While one hand grabbed into the wild black hair, the other stroke over the shoulders of the general, lowered itself to his hips.
Zadei embraced Teteiyusu’s face with his claw and stroke with his thumb carefully over the cheek of the angel-like one “Tetei…”
“Shh!” His lips wandered from neck to the curve of the neck, where they stayed a bit longer.
Zadei closed his eyes enjoying this “Tetei… here?”
Teteiyusu looked up to him, laid his head to the side and appeared for a moment like a slightly dissatisfied child “Mhm, maybe you’re right. So come with me,” he said putting a kiss to his neck.
He could have sworn to see a dangerous sparkle in his eyes, but love makes blind and therefore he followed him.
--
Teteiysusu lead him, while ignoring the watchful eyes of his servants, to his room. The fireplace still glowed, there just had to be added a bit wood, while Zadei closed the door.
When he looked back at Teteiyusu, he had already turned around. Teteiyusu was beautiful, enticing in the shine of the flames. The sun outside had sank, the fireplace was the only source of light.
The feathered one came towards him, laid his arms around his hips. He was smaller than Zadei, so he had to stretch a bit to kiss him, but Zadei met him halfway.
Distinctly directing him to the bed, he pressed Zadei to lay down there.
“Don’t you want to strip that?” He asked and pointed at the plate, Zadei nodded with a smile on his face. His beloved opened the seals and stripped the plate from his body.
Again, there was this nice smell coming from Zadei, Teteiyusu adored it. He bent over the black haired demon and began to kiss his neck, to bit sometimes.
Zadei enjoyed it as long it went >It seems like he really got some experience with it…< he smiled, but how should he have known before? He never let him free back then.
He began to strip the robe off Teteiyusu and caressed the silky, pearl-white skin.
Teteiyusu let him do and placed from time to time a kiss on his collarbone. Finally the robe was off, and because he always wore a whiff of nothing beneath it, he was naked in all his beauty.
Zadei looked up to him and whispered “You are so handsome.”
His beloved looked back smiling and pressed him into the sheets; let his lips wander from the collarbone to the chest to the waist to the waistband of the general.
Zadei heaved a sigh, Teteiyusu was so near but had pinned him down… and now opened his pants. His shoulders were free and he could lift up a little, but Teteiyusu pinned him back “Lay down,” his eyes didn’t allow any disobedience.
>Alright…,< he thought and Zadei devoted himself to the intoxicated will of his lover.
His lover did know what he wanted and stripped Zadei naked, his kisses went lower but ignored a certain part. While he caressed the inner side of tigh on the one side, he stroke over the hip at the other. The general breathe in deeply and hissed “Tetei… you’re tormenting me!”
The feather-winged demon only smiled knowingly “I know, that’s why I do it.”
“That’s really evil for an angel.”
Teteiyusu watched Zadei’s face, laid his whole weight on the general, although he was a real lightweight, “I’m a demon, don’t forget that!”
His right hand grabbed the neck of his fellow and took his face more near, as hesitatingly as their lips touched, the more passionate was their kiss. A hand wandered down between the general’s legs, he moaned deeply to Teteiyusu’s mouth, who wouldn’t let him go. He stroke over his already errect member, took it in his hand and began to pump it. When he let go of his lips, Zadei moaned his name but he himself only smiled and said nothing. His tongue played with Zadei’s nipples, kissed them an nibbled at them till they got hard. He licked down his whole torso knowingly slow till he met the part he was looking for.
It surely isn’t worth mentioning how much Zadei already wanted Teteiyusu and when the lips of the white haired enclosed his organ, began to lick and suck at it, the general found himself torn between paradise and tormenting desire which he declared with quiet sighs and loud moaning. His hands burrowed into Teteiyusu’s hair, pressed his head into a better position and tried to show him what rhythm he liked.
The game went on and the generals body was already covered with a layer of sweat, climax wasn’t far away when Teteiyusu lifted his head and Zadei exclaimed with a really unmanly mixture of a sigh and scream of desperation.
Teteiyusu smiled on and his eyes contained a fire burning like Zadei never saw it. Not with Teteiyusu.
Again, Teteiyusu laid down on him and started to carass his neck, bit here, nibbled there, sucked at some places.
>This will leave markings…<
While Zadei thought that, Tetei began to shove the legs of the general spread.
>That’s what he wants to do? Well… I wouldn’t have thought that of him,< he smiled to himself and didn’t object, instead he caressed the white wings and wondered how a demon could be so soft. That soft demon lay between his legs and asked with a smug smile “You’re ready?”
“For an eternity,” the general replied.
He entered Zadei carefully with fingers, because it had been a while and maybe Zadei never had… well, it was rather a long time.
Zadei relaxed soon and didn’t break the kiss when Teteiysusu really entered him. After the kiss then he laid his head back and moaned slowly. He wasn’t near his lover for such a long time. They pressed together, Tetei lead the rhythm and cared for Zadei’s member.
It didn’t took a long time until the general reared up with the scream of a beast and climaxed, Teteiyusu followed him soon more quietly. Zadei felt a warm wave flow through his body, satisfied, he embraced the exhausted Teteiyusu who left him slowly. He seemed to fell asleep soon, so Zadei pulled the blanket around them and just held him in his arms. It just felt that good.
--
The next morning Teteiyusu woke up >Not a headache again… these were a few glasses of wine to much…< His gaze fell upon … Zadei. Again.
>A big MANY glasses too much…< He grew pale when he remembered the last night. A heavy feeling went down on his chest when he observed the unclothed demon beneath him sleeping so peacefully, how could he look so peaceful? How was he even able to?
>I had planned this differently… absolutely differently…< Carefully he got up without waking Zadei, clothing himself.
Then he went to the small armoire near the window and opened a drawer. In it, there lay an ornate, crafted dagger of Silvertwine, which could kill even Zadei. And that’s what he had intended.
He wanted to lure Zadei to his room and take his revenge, with him knowing. It would have been no challenge while he was asleep. But then there came the emotions… the kiss was an experiment, how easily he could resist Zadei, how much he felt for him.
He couldn’t.
Too much.
His hands shaking grabbed the dagger. If he couldn’t point it towards Zadei then… against his self.
Somehow he had to free himself from that demons influence, but did he want that? Did he want to throw away everything of his meaningless life if it was just about to become meaningful again?
Maybe it was the only possibility to purify him.
He grabbed the handle of the dagger with both hands and pointed the tip against himself.
He closed his eyes, soon it would be over.
“Tetei? What are you doing there?” Called a voice from the background.
>If I turn around now, I couldn’t do it…<
“Tetei?”
His hands shook more, then he let the dagger fall back into the drawer and closed it in a haste.
Zadei only heard the sound of metal because Teteiyusu’s wings were in the way.
Teteiyusu had turned around and looked deeply into the quite awake eyes of a tousled demon general whose amber gaze checked him doubting.
“Nothing,” he answered the question coldly.
A dark eyebrow was lifted in the face of the general and Zadei held his hand out for Teteiyusu “Then come here.”
Words Teteiyusu had heard so often and feared so much, but spoken so differently than ever, that sensitive, that calm and a bit sleepy. He sighed deep inside, then smiled: >So I will stay impure…,< he thought and let himself be pulled into the bed without defending.
Zadei hugged him and nestled his cheek against the other’s one.
“I love you, Tetei.”
His beloved kept silent and saw into his eyes.
Did Zadei see grief in those light blue seas? He surely doubted! Everything this night… it must have been the alcohol. It wasn’t much but maybe the weak body off Tetei couldn’t contain it? His heart grew heavy.
Teteiyusu although taught him a lesson in unpredictability using his lips on the general’s.
“I love you, too,” he smiled. >I guess.<
They lay in each others arms for a while when Zadei asked: “Tetei, will you ever sing again?”
A hint of red appeared on his cheeks and seemed to feel uncomfortable, then laughed lightly and saw into the others eyes: “Sure.”
The End
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Date: 20 Apr 2012 23:07 (UTC)From: